this horse ate my icecream
Have a history teacher explain this if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named “Ford.”
Kennedy was shot in a car called “Lincoln” made by “Ford.”
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here’s the “kicker”:
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
Actually Kennedy was in Monroe too
Yeah, marilyn monroe didn’t you read the fucking post
am I really about to spend another 400 dollars on a console
"No matter how bad you fuck up at work, you didn’t fucked up this bad"
"No matter how bad you fuck up at work, you didn’t die like this guy."
When a plan goes off without a hitch when it shouldn’t have worked at all.
Level 70 priest healing the tank.
i don’t know why i laughed so hard but
buT NO THATS LITERALLY ESSENTIALLY WHAT HE DID
you think that they would have let him sleep
THAT’S A SKULL FRACTURE FOR SURE
More Bonk remixes: http://belgerum.tumblr.com/